Does it have to end now?

Dear my hopefully someday, 

A lot has happened, another one of my friends has been hanging out with you a lot but when I asked her about it she said nothing was going on and she hated that I would even think that. Then you came to my birthday party for a little bit, you were with your friend who was there to see his girlfriend (my bestfriend). Then other night I learned that my friend that's been hanging out with you maybe lied to me because I heard you guys were "talking" but I don't know if you still are or what. But last night, I was driving around with two of my bestfriends and we wanted to play car tag or down thing with someone so we sent out a mass snapcat to everyone (including you) but you didn't respond but later that night (while I was still out) I got a snapchat from you but it wasn't from you it was from my bestfriend (my best guy friend) on your phone and you were asking if I knew where that one friend was but I didn't get upset because the other kid you were with also kinda had stuf with her too. So I texted my best guy friend and said we were bored and wanted to do something, you guys finally agreed and I met up with you... We met up at a park, we parked next to each other and then we played car tag against each other. You could say I was pretty happy. But that's not when it ended...you called me (while still playing car tag) and you said we were cheating but you really just didn't know where we were at, but my question is, why did you call me. Why didn't my bestfriend? Did you still have my number from last year? Did you volunteer to call me? You must have already had my number beause why would have gotten my number from my bestfriend and not just use his phone? Maybe his phone was dead? But then still you would have already had my number. And that means you never deleted it...and maybe you did volunteer to call me, and maybe just maybe what I heard about you talking to my friend wasn't  true maybe it was about your friend...because I'm pretty sure he was the one texting me off my bestfriends phone and who was asking about my friend....even though all this happened this weekend....I doubt anything else will, I doubt we'll even talk in class tomorrow...and that's what hurts the most...

   Sincerely, does it have to end now?

Maybe it's fate

Dear my hopefully someday,
     Yesterday was the first day if school, and after all the recent stuff between us I was a little nervous to see you. Even though I wasn't gaurenteed to see you I was still nervous as to how we would act around each other. I walked into one of my classes and I was talking with my friends and as I turned around to answer one of my friends, I saw you sitting there.  You then saw me and it felt awkward but not like before, it felt awkward like do we talk in person or no?  Today when I walked into class you were already in your seat and I walked past you and I didn't really notice anything abnormal, but then later in the hour we made eye contact but it wasn't as awkward as before.  Then not long ago this evening after I finished my homework you sent me a snapchat. You once again sent me one first, but when I replied you never answered me. So I still don't know what anything means to you but maybe now since we have a class we'll talk more. Maybe, as my friend says, it was a sign we were put in this class together. I guess we'll just have to wait and see.
                                                        Sincerely, maybe it's fate.

Here's to not giving up.

Dear my hopefully someday,
     In my last post I said nothing was happening between us and I didn't think anything was going to happen. I also said I was not going to give up.  Well it turns out that my not giving up kind of payed off.  A couple weeks ago on twitter I said something then you tweeted something that sort of seemed like it was directed at me so I tweeted again and you quoted the tweet. Everyone I asked all agreed that it seemed like you were subtweeting me and even to me it seemed like you were. So I did something a little risky, at least for me it was risky. I took your snapchat name off twitter and did what you said to do, I snapchatted you, and then you replied. We went on for a while that night, and then you said goodnight and we were done. The next couple nights we didn't snapchat, but we were favoriting and retweeting each other. After then for about a week nothing happened, but that next weekend we were doing the whole twitter thing again, but once again no more snapchats.  But two nights ago that changed, when you sent me a snapchat first, then we went on for a while but then you stopped, but then the next night (last night) I sent everyone a picture and you replied, and we went on for a while. I know this may not seem like much, but to me it kind of is, now I'm not going to get my hopes up that anything will come of this because I know the truth is that to you, this could mean absolutely nothing, but then again if you didn't want to talk to me you didn't have to add me back on snapchat and you didn't have to ever reply and you definitely didn't have to send me one first, even if that was to everyone, if you didn't want to you didn't have to send it to me. So here's to continuing to try and not giving up.
                                                      Sincerely, Sometimes not giving up pays off.

Not giving up

Dear My Hopefully Someday,
     I know it's been quite a while since I've wrote, and last time I wrote it was addressed 'dear my never'.  Not much has happened to be honest. After I had that fight over you with my 'bestfriend' things between her and I have never really been the same again.  As for things between you and I, well there's nothing, so I finally gave up, until yesterday. I hadn't seen you since the last day of school, which was a month ago, then I saw you yesterday.  I spent part of the day with you, I sat right by you, we were in group conversations together, but I still felt the awkwardness between us, and I know you felt it too, because you didn't look directly at me, at least not when I looked back, the one time I looked up I saw you look at me, but when you saw my eyes near you, you looked away.  When you left though, it confused me, because after all that time at the party when you basically ignored me except for the awkward looks and small talk, you looked directly at me and said bye.  You looked right at me, and the truth is, I don't know if you meant to or not, but you did, and it really screwed with my feelings. I realized I like you again, actually I realized I still like you because I don't think I ever stopped. Even though you weren't talking directly to me, I really liked hearing you talk, and I really forgot how funny you are. As much as I may not want to, I like you, and the sad truth is, I don't think anything is ever going to happen between us, but for now I won't give up hope.
           
                                                            Sincerely, Not giving up.

Dear my never,
     Well my bestfriend (the one who decided to like you too) and I didn't talk (more than we had to) for about a week.  Finally we talked things out and she said she just wanted to be friends again and that she didn't even really care about you anymore, I wasn't sure if I believed her, but the truth was I had to, because I wanted things back to normal.  The week after we worked everything out she started dating someone else, and that made me happy because at least she didn't like you anymore, but it also kind of made me mad because that kind of meant our whole fight was pointless.  It doesn't really matter though anyway because every thing's fine...with my bestfriend anyway..  Things with you and I however, well there aren't things between you and I, but how I wish there was.
       
                                                        Sincerely, I guess it's time to move on.

I guess everything's over ...

Dear my never...
     Yesterday I felt something I've never felt before. I'm not even really sure what it was but it was awful. I was on the phone with one of my bestfriends, the one who told me to message you, and we were doing our math homework and she said that she had to tell me something and that she didn't want me to get mad. I prepared myself for what I figured the truth was, that you liked her, or that you were getting back together with your ex (which now I wish was the secret). The secret was that my bestfriend likes you now too. It sucks a lot, especially since before break started is when I told her I liked you, then she told me to talk to you, then she tells me near the end of spring break she realized she liked you too. I know she can't help the way she feels but she hung out with you for your sport's sprig break trip knowing that I liked you! It just really hurts a lot. I honestly am still in shock and just feel like I'm gonna wake up and this all be a dream...I know she told me she didn't want to hurt me, but the truth is she did...I don't understand how she could do this to me. I can't stop thinking about it or you. I don't even know how to handle it. It's not fair because she always had a guy or is talking to someone and now she has who I want, who I've wanted since September and she's wanted for less than a week. And less then two weeks ago she was sitting in my room cryin over her ex, but now who cares. It sucks too because I feel like she has a better chance wih you than I ever did..and she said don't worry because nothing was happening between you two, but I have a reason to believe you like her. When I texted her about it a while after she told me all she said was that she loved me and our friendship and didn't want to hurt me. Well, she did, and I think the worst part is that it was kinda like she didn't care about how I felt, and she said don't worry nothing's happening, but I can't help but wonder, if it did would she go out with you knowing how much I like you, or what if anyway possible something happened between me and you, would she be mad? But then again she has no right to be. I love her but right now I don't know how to feel, honestly I just kind of feel betrayed... And I know if the situation was reversed, she would e so mad at me and she would probably never talk to me again but  she expects me to be fine with it and accept it! I'm so confused and hurt I don't even know what to say anymore. I do know I'll miss you, because I don't think we're ever going to be together. And I'm really upset by that but I guess I should move on, even as much as it hurts.
                                                       Sincerely, I guess everything's over.

Encouraged

Dear my hopefully someday,
     This morning I was on the phone with my friend, the one who told me to talk to you. She gave me some encouraging news. She asked if I ever ended up messaging you, and when I replied yes, she asked if you answered to which I replied no. You would think this would make me upset, the reminder of you ignoring me, but it didn't because she then said that you may have never read it, or maybe have not been able to reply, because she said the whole time you were away you complained about your phone acting up and not working right. So maybe there is hope, maybe you didn't see it, maybe you did try to reply and maybe things will all work out. I know this is just one possibility though, the other possibility is still there, the one where you ignored me.   I'm just trying to keep my hopes up that things could work out between us.  The only reason I'm excited to go to school tomorrow is to see fi anything were to happen, or what things will be like between us. So here's to hoping there's a chance for a future between us.
                                                                        Sincerely, Encouraged.

I hope there's still a chance...

Dear my hopefully someday,
     It's been four days...I keep having hope that everything will work out between us. I hope I go back to school Monday and I see you and you walk up to me why you didn't answer me and that you want to be with me. My dream the other night isn't helping these thoughts. I had a dream where I went it school and I went to one of my classes and in that class I got a bouquet of flowers and a letter explaining everything and how much you want to be with me. But like I said that was a dream, one that will not come true. I also keep having hope because maybe you didn't have the best service while you were down there and you couldn't reply, but I know that's like the least realistic answer. I have a very strong feeling that our friend found out how I feel about you, my best friend to be exact. Since I woke up today I've gotten like 13 snaphcats from her and about seven of those were of you. Is that her way of saying she knows I like you? I know she's your friend too but why would she only send them of you (and like two of her boyfriend, and one of her and I's other best friend) If she knows I like you, why would she send me pictures of the person who ignored me, because every time she does, it just reminds me that you did in fact ignore me. Maybe she doesn't know that you ignored me, but I and my friend think she probably does. Why do we think this? Because my best friend is one of your friends so maybe you told her about it knowing she and I were friends, and the other reason, more reasonable to me is that your best friend is my best friend's boyfriend, who is also with you, and you probably told him, and he probably told her...But then again maybe she doesn't know you ignored me, maybe she doesn't even know how I feel about you, maybe she is just sending pictures of random people, but I don't know the truth about it, but I do know it does hurt to look at you and know that you ignored me. Even after thinking about all this I do still hope though, I still hope, I will see you and you will explain everything to me, I just really hope.
                                                       Sincerely, I hope there's still a chance...

Wondering if you'd care.

Dear my hopefully someday,
     I've been thinking lately, about this blog, and whether or not I wish you knew about it. At times I wish you knew because then, maybe you would realize just how much you mean to me and how I feel. But then again i'm glad you don't know because I feel like if you read this, you would think it's creepy or dumb how much I care for you...or maybe you would just laugh. Maybe you would laugh at the thought of me actually thinking we could have something. I don't know if you'll ever see these "letters" or if I even ever want you to. I don't really know what's a good idea anymore....If I told you about this blog somehow, would you even read it? Or if I gave it to you anonymously and you read it, would you care enough to find out who wrote it?
                                                       Sincerely, wondering if you'd care.

Really wanting an answer...

Dear my hopefully someday,
     I'm beginning to really regret everything, I just hate not knowing. Not too long ago for a brief minute I forgot about all the regrets, because I got a notification for a new message. But like I said it was only for a brief minute, it was a false alarm, there was no new message, from you or from anyone, there was nothing. But what's new? This whole thing may not mean much to you, but it means a hell of a lot to me. I really just want an answer...please? I keep having the feeling that you're probably just sitting there laughing at me for being stupid enough to think that we had a chance. I thought that maybe there was a possibility that there could be something between us, but I guess not. I still want to know what the whole false alarm thing was about... I just hate to think that I may never get an answer...I hate that, and that's why I'm regretting it...I just want a chance with you...but what else is there to do now, but give up? Because I did what I could...I tried, so unless you reply within the next couple days, I think I need to forget about you and move on with my life...even though I really don't want to, but why be hung up on you, when you don't even care about me?
                                                              Sincerely, Really wanting an answer...

Wondering...

Dear my hopefully someday,
     I just really want things to work out. I know I shouldn't sit here and think about it, but I can't stop wondering if you saw my message or not. Maybe you didn't, but maybe you did. And if you did are you just ignoring me? Or maybe you're like me, maybe you don't know what to say back, maybe you are like me and have to build up the confidence to answer me. I'm trying to stay positive and I know you're busy, but with each passing minute without a response I become even more hopeless. I'm beginning to regret it, I'm regretting sending you the message, but then again I know if I didn't send it I might regret it even more. I think the reason I regret it is because I'm thinking the truth may be coming out, everything was all in my head, and you don't want anything to do with me and nothing will ever happen between us and you will become just that one guy, who never became my someday. I just hope that this isn't true and later today or even tomorrow or anytime before we go back to school you message me back. The reason I say before we go back to school is because I don't know if I can pass you in the morning and look at you without breaking down crying or walking up to you and just asking if you saw my message and if you ignored it or why you didn't respond, so please all I'm asking for is an answer, at this point I'm even ready to take the fact that you don't want to talk, but could you at least tell me so I'm not sitting here wondering?
                                                                   Sincerely, wondering

I took the chance...

Dear my HOPEFULLY someday,
      Today I put extra emphasis on the hopefully because I'm really hoping. Since you've become available, for about a month now, I've been thinking of ways to take a chance with you, and yesterday I finally did. Yesterday I messaged you. I said a simple hey, my friend who's with you said I should and that everything would be ok and it'll all work out so I thought maybe just maybe she had already said something to you, or maybe she just thought things would work out but so far they haven't. You haven't replied. I'm not getting too upset yet though, because there is the possibility that you haven't seen it yet, but I think you have and now you just think I'm creepy. I mean yes we've talked before but that was a while ago, so you probably think it's wierd but I took the chance and I think the least you could do is acknowledge that... So if you haven't seen it yet, fine, but if you have please just say something, even say you don't want to talk to me, but please just let me know you saw it so I'm not sitting here wondering.
                                           Sincerely, I took the chance...

I need to know

Dear my hopefully someday,
     I can't stop thinking about you. I just really want to talk to you.... I just want to at least have the chance to talk to you. And I think I know that the only way to do that is to tell her, but I just feel like she'd think it's so stupid. I know I shouldn't be afraid to tell her, she's my bestfriend, but I am. I know I have to tell her though, because I'm beginning to think it's my only option in order to have a chance with you. And having a chance with you is one of the only things I really want in life right now, or at least have the chance so I know if it could work or not. That's all I want...I just need to know if we can ever be together.
                                                        Sincerely, I need to know.

Selfish

Dear my hopefully someday,
     I was told to make a pros and cons list for you and the other guy, and at first I thought it was a good idea. Now as I'm sitting here though, crying my eyes out over you, because of all the talk about you and her wanting to get back together and fix things, I realized that list was pointless. I realize that you're obviously who I want to be with. I know you don't care about me but I care so much about you, and I know it's selfish but I really hope you don't get back together with her just because it's put me through so much pain.
                                                   Sincerely, selfish

I should be happier.

Dear my hopefully someday,
     It's true. It's been confirmed that you are available. I was so happy when I found out for sure, it means I could be a step closer to making you my hopefully someday. But then I thought about the other guy, I thought what happens if we do get set up, would I want to since now there's a chance with you. When I talked I my friends about it they all said who do you like more and my obvious answer was you, but then I thought what if it doesn't work out again like before what if things could work out with the other guy but I forget about him for you? What if we don't even work? Would I waste my chance with the other guy? I don't think I could answer that unless something happened between us. The other thing with you is that we never see each other, and now with my sports season on the way I won't see you even those couple rare times. So how would we even start talking again I never see you, or talk to you, I know the one option is to talk to my bestfriend about it since she knows you, but the thing is she still doesn't know I like you....I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like I should be happier about everything though.
                                             Sincerely, I should be happier.

I don't know ...

Dear my hopefully someday,
     So right now it's not for sure, but what I'm getting from everything is that you're available now. And yes I know it's soon so nothing would happen right away if it did happen at all. But here's the thing, that new hopefully someday? Well my friends trying to set us up and I'm kind of excited, well, I was, but now all this happened and I don't know if I should be excited, I could try to be with you or continue and try to work with him. I don't know anymore. I don't know right now, I'm not even sure everything about you is true so I don't know why I'm worrying, but I am and I just don't know.
                             Sincerely, I don't know what to say.

I think about us.

Dear my hopefully someday,
     The truth is I think about you a lot, more than I probably should, but I do. I think about different scenarios of things that will never happen. Sometimes it makes me happy thinking about you, but others it makes me so sad because I'm thinking of something that may never happen. And the fact that we may never happen really upsets me because I just really hope one day we can work out.
                                             Sincerely, I think about us a lot.

Wishing there was a time machine

Dear my hopefully someday,
      It hurts knowing I care about you so much, and it seems like you could care less about me. Recently I've been starting to think that I just want you in my life, even if you just become my friend, just so I could talk to you and not so feel awkward when I see you, but I know this would be a mistake since it would only make me want to be with you more. It would probably make me more jealous too. I don't think you realize that I've been waiting for you all this time. That new hopefully someday I talked about, let's face it, it probably won't work out, and to be honest I don't think I could get over you and forget you enough to move on. The truth is, I've been waiting for you since back when we were actually talking, and I believe I'll wait for you for a while. I've been thinking that I'm just waiting until you're available because that's when I'll be able to take my chance and if things don't work out then, that's when I can move on. I keep thinking about how much I could go back in time and change things because if I could everything would be so different and you might be mine right now.
                                    Sincerely, wishing there was a time machine.

Teardrops on my paper

Dear my hopefully someday,
     It's days like today where I thought about you, but it's also days like today where I also thought about him. Today has just been a really lonely day, my friends seem to have disappeared, and I just feel alone. I thought about you and how I wish you could be here so I didn't feel so alone, but then I thought, it doesn't matter because you're probably with her, so that's when I started to think of him, and how maybe he could comfort me and help me be less lonely than you could, because more and more lately, it feels like we haven't been noticing each other as much, and I'm starting to think that everything and anything that ever happened between us has been forgotten. I don't want that to be forgotten because I've still been hoping and wishing that one day those things can happen again and even go farther this time, but I'm starting to think they never will, and that makes me so sad. If I was actually writing this 'letter' on paper right now there would be water marks from all my tears hitting the paper as I write this because in all these thoughts, I realize how alone I am. Maybe having a new someone will help me not feel so alone, but then again things probably won't work out once again and I'll be even more alone. I'm just so tired of being sad and lonely and I'm even getting kind of tired of always thinking about you.
                                               Sincerely, teardrops on my paper

Maybe finding a new hopefully someday

Dear my hopefully someday,
      I still really like you, but the truth is I'm really starting to think that we won't ever be together. I think that I'm slowly starting to fall for someone else, but the truth is I don't think that will ever happen either. I think that I'm slowly starting to forget all of my feelings for you, and I don't know if I'm happy about that or not.  I'm happy because maybe that means I can finally start moving on, and stop caring so much, and being so jealous, but then again I'm kind of upset because I like you so much and I don't want to forget you, but maybe it will be good, maybe it will be good if I find a new hopefully someday. Although I don't even know if that new hopefully someday will ever be my someday, I don't even know if we would work out, we're different. I'm friends with his sister, and this weekend that we spent together, I just started to fall for you, more than I did before. He's just so shy, I've known him for 3 years now, and I've talked to him quite a bit, but not enough to even really be friends with him, but I sorta hope to change that. This weekend when we were dancing and he was my partner and we held hands it just made me realize how I was falling for him. Also when he was at my dinner table with his sister and we all talked. He's just so awkward and adorable, I don't know. I don't know how to feel anymore, because I still like you so much, but now I like him too.
                                                                    Sincerely, maybe finding a new hopefully someday.

I miss seeing you.

Dear my hopefully someday,
     Today was the first day of the new semester, and I don't see you anymore. The only time I saw you today was after school.  I knew I wouldn't see you as much with our new schedules, but I didn't think I wouldn't see you at all, and the truth is I miss it.  I miss seeing your face, and your smile. I know most of the time I saw you, you were with her, but I even kind of miss that, I just miss seeing you. Maybe now that I don't see you it will be easier to go on without you in my life, but at the same time maybe it will be harder, since now I'll just continue to think about you non-stop and not get to see you. I don't know what will happen, I just wish I saw you, at least once during the day.
                                                        Sincerely, I miss seeing you.

I need you to be my escape

Dear my hopefully someday,
     It's days like today, when I'm upset and nothing is going right, that I wish you would hold me and tell me everything's okay and it'll all work out. I wish you could just get in your car and drive over here and comfort me, or come and pick me up and help me escape everything.  It's days like today where I wish I could call you and you would talk to me so I wasn't upset anymore.  It's days like today where I wish I could call you mine. I was upset earlier with things in my life and family things and all I could think about was why no one is here to take me away from all of this, physically or emotionally, and then I thought of you, if we were together, you could. You could be my escape. I want you to be my escape, I want to be able to think of you on days like this and be happy. I've been up set like this before and I know I will be agian, probably even soon, but this time, I just couldn't stop thinking about how much I wanted you to be here to take me away.
                                        Sincerely, I need you to be my escape.

Always thinking about you.

Dear my hopefully someday,
     I just wish I could go one day without thinking about you, and missing you. I sometimes wonder if you know how I feel about you. How would you though? Sometimes I just want to run up to you and tell you how much I miss you and how much I just want to be with you, but I don't, and I doubt I ever will. I might be able to stop thinking about you and stop missing you if you stopped coming into my dreams. I don't know if you've ever heard that when you dream about someone, that means they miss you, and if that's true, well, then lately you must miss me a lot, because you're always in my dreams. I doubt that's true though, because that would mean you actually thought about me.
                                      Sincerely, always thinking about you.

Would Things Change?

Dear My Hopefully Someday,
     I know we don't really know each other that well, but the truth is I like you, a lot.  I wish things would have worked out between us.  I see you in the hallways at school, sometimes alone, sometimes with her and I just think, why can't that be me. Sometimes I catch you staring at me, like the other day, and I can't help but to think that maybe deep down you feel something for me, maybe you have feelings for me like I have for you.  I come home and the truth is sometimes I cry for you. Sometimes I just wish you knew how I felt about you, but I don't know what would happen if you did. Would things change? Or would things go on the same? That's part of why I'm afraid to tell you, I'm afraid things wouldn't change, I would still like you while you go on living your life, happy with her, and I was wrong, you don't care about me.  But what if? What if just maybe you did feel something for me, would you change things? I most likely won't know the answer to these questions because I probably will never be able to tell you how I feel, at least not for a while, maybe until you aren't with her anymore.  I just wish I could get over you sometimes, because sometimes I feel so sad when I think about you. I just want to one day, hopefully sooner, than later, have a chance with you, and be with you...
                                                    Sincerely, the girl that you forgot about.