Does it have to end now?

Dear my hopefully someday, 

A lot has happened, another one of my friends has been hanging out with you a lot but when I asked her about it she said nothing was going on and she hated that I would even think that. Then you came to my birthday party for a little bit, you were with your friend who was there to see his girlfriend (my bestfriend). Then other night I learned that my friend that's been hanging out with you maybe lied to me because I heard you guys were "talking" but I don't know if you still are or what. But last night, I was driving around with two of my bestfriends and we wanted to play car tag or down thing with someone so we sent out a mass snapcat to everyone (including you) but you didn't respond but later that night (while I was still out) I got a snapchat from you but it wasn't from you it was from my bestfriend (my best guy friend) on your phone and you were asking if I knew where that one friend was but I didn't get upset because the other kid you were with also kinda had stuf with her too. So I texted my best guy friend and said we were bored and wanted to do something, you guys finally agreed and I met up with you... We met up at a park, we parked next to each other and then we played car tag against each other. You could say I was pretty happy. But that's not when it ended...you called me (while still playing car tag) and you said we were cheating but you really just didn't know where we were at, but my question is, why did you call me. Why didn't my bestfriend? Did you still have my number from last year? Did you volunteer to call me? You must have already had my number beause why would have gotten my number from my bestfriend and not just use his phone? Maybe his phone was dead? But then still you would have already had my number. And that means you never deleted it...and maybe you did volunteer to call me, and maybe just maybe what I heard about you talking to my friend wasn't  true maybe it was about your friend...because I'm pretty sure he was the one texting me off my bestfriends phone and who was asking about my friend....even though all this happened this weekend....I doubt anything else will, I doubt we'll even talk in class tomorrow...and that's what hurts the most...

   Sincerely, does it have to end now?

Maybe it's fate

Dear my hopefully someday,
     Yesterday was the first day if school, and after all the recent stuff between us I was a little nervous to see you. Even though I wasn't gaurenteed to see you I was still nervous as to how we would act around each other. I walked into one of my classes and I was talking with my friends and as I turned around to answer one of my friends, I saw you sitting there.  You then saw me and it felt awkward but not like before, it felt awkward like do we talk in person or no?  Today when I walked into class you were already in your seat and I walked past you and I didn't really notice anything abnormal, but then later in the hour we made eye contact but it wasn't as awkward as before.  Then not long ago this evening after I finished my homework you sent me a snapchat. You once again sent me one first, but when I replied you never answered me. So I still don't know what anything means to you but maybe now since we have a class we'll talk more. Maybe, as my friend says, it was a sign we were put in this class together. I guess we'll just have to wait and see.
                                                        Sincerely, maybe it's fate.

Here's to not giving up.

Dear my hopefully someday,
     In my last post I said nothing was happening between us and I didn't think anything was going to happen. I also said I was not going to give up.  Well it turns out that my not giving up kind of payed off.  A couple weeks ago on twitter I said something then you tweeted something that sort of seemed like it was directed at me so I tweeted again and you quoted the tweet. Everyone I asked all agreed that it seemed like you were subtweeting me and even to me it seemed like you were. So I did something a little risky, at least for me it was risky. I took your snapchat name off twitter and did what you said to do, I snapchatted you, and then you replied. We went on for a while that night, and then you said goodnight and we were done. The next couple nights we didn't snapchat, but we were favoriting and retweeting each other. After then for about a week nothing happened, but that next weekend we were doing the whole twitter thing again, but once again no more snapchats.  But two nights ago that changed, when you sent me a snapchat first, then we went on for a while but then you stopped, but then the next night (last night) I sent everyone a picture and you replied, and we went on for a while. I know this may not seem like much, but to me it kind of is, now I'm not going to get my hopes up that anything will come of this because I know the truth is that to you, this could mean absolutely nothing, but then again if you didn't want to talk to me you didn't have to add me back on snapchat and you didn't have to ever reply and you definitely didn't have to send me one first, even if that was to everyone, if you didn't want to you didn't have to send it to me. So here's to continuing to try and not giving up.
                                                      Sincerely, Sometimes not giving up pays off.

Not giving up

Dear My Hopefully Someday,
     I know it's been quite a while since I've wrote, and last time I wrote it was addressed 'dear my never'.  Not much has happened to be honest. After I had that fight over you with my 'bestfriend' things between her and I have never really been the same again.  As for things between you and I, well there's nothing, so I finally gave up, until yesterday. I hadn't seen you since the last day of school, which was a month ago, then I saw you yesterday.  I spent part of the day with you, I sat right by you, we were in group conversations together, but I still felt the awkwardness between us, and I know you felt it too, because you didn't look directly at me, at least not when I looked back, the one time I looked up I saw you look at me, but when you saw my eyes near you, you looked away.  When you left though, it confused me, because after all that time at the party when you basically ignored me except for the awkward looks and small talk, you looked directly at me and said bye.  You looked right at me, and the truth is, I don't know if you meant to or not, but you did, and it really screwed with my feelings. I realized I like you again, actually I realized I still like you because I don't think I ever stopped. Even though you weren't talking directly to me, I really liked hearing you talk, and I really forgot how funny you are. As much as I may not want to, I like you, and the sad truth is, I don't think anything is ever going to happen between us, but for now I won't give up hope.
           
                                                            Sincerely, Not giving up.

Dear my never,
     Well my bestfriend (the one who decided to like you too) and I didn't talk (more than we had to) for about a week.  Finally we talked things out and she said she just wanted to be friends again and that she didn't even really care about you anymore, I wasn't sure if I believed her, but the truth was I had to, because I wanted things back to normal.  The week after we worked everything out she started dating someone else, and that made me happy because at least she didn't like you anymore, but it also kind of made me mad because that kind of meant our whole fight was pointless.  It doesn't really matter though anyway because every thing's fine...with my bestfriend anyway..  Things with you and I however, well there aren't things between you and I, but how I wish there was.
       
                                                        Sincerely, I guess it's time to move on.

I guess everything's over ...

Dear my never...
     Yesterday I felt something I've never felt before. I'm not even really sure what it was but it was awful. I was on the phone with one of my bestfriends, the one who told me to message you, and we were doing our math homework and she said that she had to tell me something and that she didn't want me to get mad. I prepared myself for what I figured the truth was, that you liked her, or that you were getting back together with your ex (which now I wish was the secret). The secret was that my bestfriend likes you now too. It sucks a lot, especially since before break started is when I told her I liked you, then she told me to talk to you, then she tells me near the end of spring break she realized she liked you too. I know she can't help the way she feels but she hung out with you for your sport's sprig break trip knowing that I liked you! It just really hurts a lot. I honestly am still in shock and just feel like I'm gonna wake up and this all be a dream...I know she told me she didn't want to hurt me, but the truth is she did...I don't understand how she could do this to me. I can't stop thinking about it or you. I don't even know how to handle it. It's not fair because she always had a guy or is talking to someone and now she has who I want, who I've wanted since September and she's wanted for less than a week. And less then two weeks ago she was sitting in my room cryin over her ex, but now who cares. It sucks too because I feel like she has a better chance wih you than I ever did..and she said don't worry because nothing was happening between you two, but I have a reason to believe you like her. When I texted her about it a while after she told me all she said was that she loved me and our friendship and didn't want to hurt me. Well, she did, and I think the worst part is that it was kinda like she didn't care about how I felt, and she said don't worry nothing's happening, but I can't help but wonder, if it did would she go out with you knowing how much I like you, or what if anyway possible something happened between me and you, would she be mad? But then again she has no right to be. I love her but right now I don't know how to feel, honestly I just kind of feel betrayed... And I know if the situation was reversed, she would e so mad at me and she would probably never talk to me again but  she expects me to be fine with it and accept it! I'm so confused and hurt I don't even know what to say anymore. I do know I'll miss you, because I don't think we're ever going to be together. And I'm really upset by that but I guess I should move on, even as much as it hurts.
                                                       Sincerely, I guess everything's over.

Encouraged

Dear my hopefully someday,
     This morning I was on the phone with my friend, the one who told me to talk to you. She gave me some encouraging news. She asked if I ever ended up messaging you, and when I replied yes, she asked if you answered to which I replied no. You would think this would make me upset, the reminder of you ignoring me, but it didn't because she then said that you may have never read it, or maybe have not been able to reply, because she said the whole time you were away you complained about your phone acting up and not working right. So maybe there is hope, maybe you didn't see it, maybe you did try to reply and maybe things will all work out. I know this is just one possibility though, the other possibility is still there, the one where you ignored me.   I'm just trying to keep my hopes up that things could work out between us.  The only reason I'm excited to go to school tomorrow is to see fi anything were to happen, or what things will be like between us. So here's to hoping there's a chance for a future between us.
                                                                        Sincerely, Encouraged.