Dear my never...
Yesterday I felt something I've never felt before. I'm not even really sure what it was but it was awful. I was on the phone with one of my bestfriends, the one who told me to message you, and we were doing our math homework and she said that she had to tell me something and that she didn't want me to get mad. I prepared myself for what I figured the truth was, that you liked her, or that you were getting back together with your ex (which now I wish was the secret). The secret was that my bestfriend likes you now too. It sucks a lot, especially since before break started is when I told her I liked you, then she told me to talk to you, then she tells me near the end of spring break she realized she liked you too. I know she can't help the way she feels but she hung out with you for your sport's sprig break trip knowing that I liked you! It just really hurts a lot. I honestly am still in shock and just feel like I'm gonna wake up and this all be a dream...I know she told me she didn't want to hurt me, but the truth is she did...I don't understand how she could do this to me. I can't stop thinking about it or you. I don't even know how to handle it. It's not fair because she always had a guy or is talking to someone and now she has who I want, who I've wanted since September and she's wanted for less than a week. And less then two weeks ago she was sitting in my room cryin over her ex, but now who cares. It sucks too because I feel like she has a better chance wih you than I ever did..and she said don't worry because nothing was happening between you two, but I have a reason to believe you like her. When I texted her about it a while after she told me all she said was that she loved me and our friendship and didn't want to hurt me. Well, she did, and I think the worst part is that it was kinda like she didn't care about how I felt, and she said don't worry nothing's happening, but I can't help but wonder, if it did would she go out with you knowing how much I like you, or what if anyway possible something happened between me and you, would she be mad? But then again she has no right to be. I love her but right now I don't know how to feel, honestly I just kind of feel betrayed... And I know if the situation was reversed, she would e so mad at me and she would probably never talk to me again but she expects me to be fine with it and accept it! I'm so confused and hurt I don't even know what to say anymore. I do know I'll miss you, because I don't think we're ever going to be together. And I'm really upset by that but I guess I should move on, even as much as it hurts.
Sincerely, I guess everything's over.
Thursday, April 11, 2013
Sunday, April 7, 2013
Encouraged
Dear my hopefully someday,
This morning I was on the phone with my friend, the one who told me to talk to you. She gave me some encouraging news. She asked if I ever ended up messaging you, and when I replied yes, she asked if you answered to which I replied no. You would think this would make me upset, the reminder of you ignoring me, but it didn't because she then said that you may have never read it, or maybe have not been able to reply, because she said the whole time you were away you complained about your phone acting up and not working right. So maybe there is hope, maybe you didn't see it, maybe you did try to reply and maybe things will all work out. I know this is just one possibility though, the other possibility is still there, the one where you ignored me. I'm just trying to keep my hopes up that things could work out between us. The only reason I'm excited to go to school tomorrow is to see fi anything were to happen, or what things will be like between us. So here's to hoping there's a chance for a future between us.
Sincerely, Encouraged.
Saturday, April 6, 2013
I hope there's still a chance...
Dear my hopefully someday,
It's been four days...I keep having hope that everything will work out between us. I hope I go back to school Monday and I see you and you walk up to me why you didn't answer me and that you want to be with me. My dream the other night isn't helping these thoughts. I had a dream where I went it school and I went to one of my classes and in that class I got a bouquet of flowers and a letter explaining everything and how much you want to be with me. But like I said that was a dream, one that will not come true. I also keep having hope because maybe you didn't have the best service while you were down there and you couldn't reply, but I know that's like the least realistic answer. I have a very strong feeling that our friend found out how I feel about you, my best friend to be exact. Since I woke up today I've gotten like 13 snaphcats from her and about seven of those were of you. Is that her way of saying she knows I like you? I know she's your friend too but why would she only send them of you (and like two of her boyfriend, and one of her and I's other best friend) If she knows I like you, why would she send me pictures of the person who ignored me, because every time she does, it just reminds me that you did in fact ignore me. Maybe she doesn't know that you ignored me, but I and my friend think she probably does. Why do we think this? Because my best friend is one of your friends so maybe you told her about it knowing she and I were friends, and the other reason, more reasonable to me is that your best friend is my best friend's boyfriend, who is also with you, and you probably told him, and he probably told her...But then again maybe she doesn't know you ignored me, maybe she doesn't even know how I feel about you, maybe she is just sending pictures of random people, but I don't know the truth about it, but I do know it does hurt to look at you and know that you ignored me. Even after thinking about all this I do still hope though, I still hope, I will see you and you will explain everything to me, I just really hope.
Sincerely, I hope there's still a chance...
It's been four days...I keep having hope that everything will work out between us. I hope I go back to school Monday and I see you and you walk up to me why you didn't answer me and that you want to be with me. My dream the other night isn't helping these thoughts. I had a dream where I went it school and I went to one of my classes and in that class I got a bouquet of flowers and a letter explaining everything and how much you want to be with me. But like I said that was a dream, one that will not come true. I also keep having hope because maybe you didn't have the best service while you were down there and you couldn't reply, but I know that's like the least realistic answer. I have a very strong feeling that our friend found out how I feel about you, my best friend to be exact. Since I woke up today I've gotten like 13 snaphcats from her and about seven of those were of you. Is that her way of saying she knows I like you? I know she's your friend too but why would she only send them of you (and like two of her boyfriend, and one of her and I's other best friend) If she knows I like you, why would she send me pictures of the person who ignored me, because every time she does, it just reminds me that you did in fact ignore me. Maybe she doesn't know that you ignored me, but I and my friend think she probably does. Why do we think this? Because my best friend is one of your friends so maybe you told her about it knowing she and I were friends, and the other reason, more reasonable to me is that your best friend is my best friend's boyfriend, who is also with you, and you probably told him, and he probably told her...But then again maybe she doesn't know you ignored me, maybe she doesn't even know how I feel about you, maybe she is just sending pictures of random people, but I don't know the truth about it, but I do know it does hurt to look at you and know that you ignored me. Even after thinking about all this I do still hope though, I still hope, I will see you and you will explain everything to me, I just really hope.
Sincerely, I hope there's still a chance...
Thursday, April 4, 2013
Wondering if you'd care.
Dear my hopefully someday,
I've been thinking lately, about this blog, and whether or not I wish you knew about it. At times I wish you knew because then, maybe you would realize just how much you mean to me and how I feel. But then again i'm glad you don't know because I feel like if you read this, you would think it's creepy or dumb how much I care for you...or maybe you would just laugh. Maybe you would laugh at the thought of me actually thinking we could have something. I don't know if you'll ever see these "letters" or if I even ever want you to. I don't really know what's a good idea anymore....If I told you about this blog somehow, would you even read it? Or if I gave it to you anonymously and you read it, would you care enough to find out who wrote it?
Sincerely, wondering if you'd care.
I've been thinking lately, about this blog, and whether or not I wish you knew about it. At times I wish you knew because then, maybe you would realize just how much you mean to me and how I feel. But then again i'm glad you don't know because I feel like if you read this, you would think it's creepy or dumb how much I care for you...or maybe you would just laugh. Maybe you would laugh at the thought of me actually thinking we could have something. I don't know if you'll ever see these "letters" or if I even ever want you to. I don't really know what's a good idea anymore....If I told you about this blog somehow, would you even read it? Or if I gave it to you anonymously and you read it, would you care enough to find out who wrote it?
Sincerely, wondering if you'd care.
Really wanting an answer...
Dear my hopefully someday,
I'm beginning to really regret everything, I just hate not knowing. Not too long ago for a brief minute I forgot about all the regrets, because I got a notification for a new message. But like I said it was only for a brief minute, it was a false alarm, there was no new message, from you or from anyone, there was nothing. But what's new? This whole thing may not mean much to you, but it means a hell of a lot to me. I really just want an answer...please? I keep having the feeling that you're probably just sitting there laughing at me for being stupid enough to think that we had a chance. I thought that maybe there was a possibility that there could be something between us, but I guess not. I still want to know what the whole false alarm thing was about... I just hate to think that I may never get an answer...I hate that, and that's why I'm regretting it...I just want a chance with you...but what else is there to do now, but give up? Because I did what I could...I tried, so unless you reply within the next couple days, I think I need to forget about you and move on with my life...even though I really don't want to, but why be hung up on you, when you don't even care about me?
Sincerely, Really wanting an answer...
I'm beginning to really regret everything, I just hate not knowing. Not too long ago for a brief minute I forgot about all the regrets, because I got a notification for a new message. But like I said it was only for a brief minute, it was a false alarm, there was no new message, from you or from anyone, there was nothing. But what's new? This whole thing may not mean much to you, but it means a hell of a lot to me. I really just want an answer...please? I keep having the feeling that you're probably just sitting there laughing at me for being stupid enough to think that we had a chance. I thought that maybe there was a possibility that there could be something between us, but I guess not. I still want to know what the whole false alarm thing was about... I just hate to think that I may never get an answer...I hate that, and that's why I'm regretting it...I just want a chance with you...but what else is there to do now, but give up? Because I did what I could...I tried, so unless you reply within the next couple days, I think I need to forget about you and move on with my life...even though I really don't want to, but why be hung up on you, when you don't even care about me?
Sincerely, Really wanting an answer...
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
Wondering...
Dear my hopefully someday,
I just really want things to work out. I know I shouldn't sit here and think about it, but I can't stop wondering if you saw my message or not. Maybe you didn't, but maybe you did. And if you did are you just ignoring me? Or maybe you're like me, maybe you don't know what to say back, maybe you are like me and have to build up the confidence to answer me. I'm trying to stay positive and I know you're busy, but with each passing minute without a response I become even more hopeless. I'm beginning to regret it, I'm regretting sending you the message, but then again I know if I didn't send it I might regret it even more. I think the reason I regret it is because I'm thinking the truth may be coming out, everything was all in my head, and you don't want anything to do with me and nothing will ever happen between us and you will become just that one guy, who never became my someday. I just hope that this isn't true and later today or even tomorrow or anytime before we go back to school you message me back. The reason I say before we go back to school is because I don't know if I can pass you in the morning and look at you without breaking down crying or walking up to you and just asking if you saw my message and if you ignored it or why you didn't respond, so please all I'm asking for is an answer, at this point I'm even ready to take the fact that you don't want to talk, but could you at least tell me so I'm not sitting here wondering?
Sincerely, wondering
I just really want things to work out. I know I shouldn't sit here and think about it, but I can't stop wondering if you saw my message or not. Maybe you didn't, but maybe you did. And if you did are you just ignoring me? Or maybe you're like me, maybe you don't know what to say back, maybe you are like me and have to build up the confidence to answer me. I'm trying to stay positive and I know you're busy, but with each passing minute without a response I become even more hopeless. I'm beginning to regret it, I'm regretting sending you the message, but then again I know if I didn't send it I might regret it even more. I think the reason I regret it is because I'm thinking the truth may be coming out, everything was all in my head, and you don't want anything to do with me and nothing will ever happen between us and you will become just that one guy, who never became my someday. I just hope that this isn't true and later today or even tomorrow or anytime before we go back to school you message me back. The reason I say before we go back to school is because I don't know if I can pass you in the morning and look at you without breaking down crying or walking up to you and just asking if you saw my message and if you ignored it or why you didn't respond, so please all I'm asking for is an answer, at this point I'm even ready to take the fact that you don't want to talk, but could you at least tell me so I'm not sitting here wondering?
Sincerely, wondering
I took the chance...
Dear my HOPEFULLY someday,
Today I put extra emphasis on the hopefully because I'm really hoping. Since you've become available, for about a month now, I've been thinking of ways to take a chance with you, and yesterday I finally did. Yesterday I messaged you. I said a simple hey, my friend who's with you said I should and that everything would be ok and it'll all work out so I thought maybe just maybe she had already said something to you, or maybe she just thought things would work out but so far they haven't. You haven't replied. I'm not getting too upset yet though, because there is the possibility that you haven't seen it yet, but I think you have and now you just think I'm creepy. I mean yes we've talked before but that was a while ago, so you probably think it's wierd but I took the chance and I think the least you could do is acknowledge that... So if you haven't seen it yet, fine, but if you have please just say something, even say you don't want to talk to me, but please just let me know you saw it so I'm not sitting here wondering.
Sincerely, I took the chance...
Today I put extra emphasis on the hopefully because I'm really hoping. Since you've become available, for about a month now, I've been thinking of ways to take a chance with you, and yesterday I finally did. Yesterday I messaged you. I said a simple hey, my friend who's with you said I should and that everything would be ok and it'll all work out so I thought maybe just maybe she had already said something to you, or maybe she just thought things would work out but so far they haven't. You haven't replied. I'm not getting too upset yet though, because there is the possibility that you haven't seen it yet, but I think you have and now you just think I'm creepy. I mean yes we've talked before but that was a while ago, so you probably think it's wierd but I took the chance and I think the least you could do is acknowledge that... So if you haven't seen it yet, fine, but if you have please just say something, even say you don't want to talk to me, but please just let me know you saw it so I'm not sitting here wondering.
Sincerely, I took the chance...
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